AA MEETING DONE. One almighty lightning strike hit just after I got home. Didn’t affect the power or anything but sure did jump start my heart.
I WENT to town early today. First real energy I have had. Checked the PO Box. Spoke with Greg W at Hookers real estate. Got some Urunga fresh white bread and 2 pies and brought myself home.
Phil from over the way put the washing machine and the old pink kid’s toy out for the rubbish collection and then Jules took me to the Meeting.
IN BETWEEN. Simply IN BETWEEN.
The hosts whisper around me and the Meetings keep them back a little.
FROM COLORADO TONIGHT
I am thankful for you in my life. I include you in my thoughts as I wander aimlessly thru a beautiful, difficult world.
The Language of Letting Go
Sometimes, to get from where we are to where we are going, we have to be willing to be in between.
One of the hardest parts of recovery is the concept of letting go of what is old and familiar, but what we don’t want, and being willing to stand with our hands empty while we wait for God to fill them.
This may apply to feelings. We may have been full of hurt and anger. In some ways, these feelings may have become comfortably familiar. When we finally face and relinquish our grief, we may feel empty for a time. We are in between pain and the joy of serenity and acceptance.
Being in between can apply to relationships. To prepare ourselves for the new, we need to first let go of the old. This can be frightening. We may feel empty and lost for a time. We may feel all alone, wondering what is wrong with us for letting go of the proverbial bird in hand, when there is nothing in the bush.
Being in between can apply to many areas of life and recovery. We can be in between jobs, careers, homes, or goals. We can be in between behaviors as we let go of the old and are not certain what we will replace it with. This can apply to behaviors that have protected and served us well all of our life, such as caretaking and controlling.
We may have many feelings going on when we’re in between: spurts of grief about what we have let go of or lost, and feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension about what’s ahead. These are normal feelings for the in between place. Accept them. Feel them. Release them.
Being in between isn’t fun, but it’s necessary. It will not last forever. It may feel like we’re standing still, but we’re not. We’re standing at the in between place. it’s how we get from here to there. It is not the destination.
We are moving forward, even when we’re in between.
Today, I will accept where I am as the ideal place for me to be. If I am in between, I will strive for the faith that this place is not without purpose, that it is moving me toward something good.