Today I went to the Doctor and pretty much what she said was that I am rapidly deteriorating and my body is beginning to fail. I simply don’t know what to do. I was waiting till Xmas to decide about Harvoni but in her view, I don’t have that time. I am flummoxed. I don’t even know how to get to Sydney nor where to stay or how to get to the Hospital. I don’t know whether to give in and take the Harvoni. Sweet Jesus – this sux bigtime. Precious little help out there.
You know what – I ain’t thinking of nothing tonight. I had lunch at the Prov with the Girls and spent the day at their house. I rarely get to do that. We had such a nice time.We shopped at the Yellow Shed and met Nana B in Urunga. Now I am on Facetime with Eden and going on as if I were not frightened and unsure. My Girl – well she’s a level headed Capricorn and was calm and couldn’t see what the Doc based her conclusions on. I shall go with that for tonight. She is a blessing in my life.
LISTENING DEEPLY, p.226
How persistently we claim the right to decide all by ourselves just what we shall think and just how we shall act.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 37
If I accept and act upon the advice of those who have made the program work for themselves, I have a chance to outgrow the limits of the past. Some problems will shrink to nothingness, while others may require patient, well-thought-out action. Listening deeply when others share can develop intuition in handling problems which arise unexpectedly. It is usually best for me to avoid impetuous action. Attending a meeting or calling a fellow A.A. member will usually reduce tension enough to bring relief to a desperate sufferer like me. Sharing problems at meetings with other alcoholics to whom I can relate, or privately with my sponsor, can change aspects of the positions in which I find myself. Character defects are identified and I begin to see how they work against me. When I put my faith in the spiritual power of the program, when I trust others to teach me what I need to do to have a better life, I find that I can trust myself to do what is necessary.
Whatever your problem, know that there is a solution. Lord, I trust in You always even to the point of a miracle.
God is always at work in your life. Notice His light on the events of your day. Lord, I sometimes look without really seeing. Help me to pause and notice.
Elder’s Meditation of the Day – August 5
“It is a paradox in the contemporary world that in our desire for peace we must willingly give ourselves to struggle.”
–Linda Hogan, CHICKASAW
The Grandfathers have taught us about sacrifice.
We have been taught to pray for the people in a pitiful way.
Struggle and conflict is neither good nor bad, it just is.
Everything that grows experiences conflict.
When the deer is born it is through conflict.
When the seed first grows, it is through conflict.
Conflict precedes clarity.
Everything has the seasons of growth.
Recognize – acknowledge – forgive and change.
All of these things are done through conflict.
Great Spirit, give me the courage today to see that struggle and conflict are here to teach me lessons that are a gift from you.