Facebook isn’t working on the iMac tonight. Bum to that. Working on the phone but my gnarly twisty fingers don’t handle that easily. I did the NA round at the Sailing Club and chatted a while and came on home. Getting lifts still.
Street signs have gone up here in connection with the Concrete Footpath and now they are lopping the magnificent trees. “They” , in the guise of the Ranger, told Jan to move her trailer. We liked it when everything was peaceful and had the look and feel of old times. Now they polish and clean it all up and create another generic world.
No matter, I have done the Meetings and eaten Maccas with the Girls and shopped on the Pony. I have fixed the bed and Kaybee has put the doonah cover on for me.
Coffs Hospital has rung with all the pre-admissions details. 13 September. When I go to Hospitals I am very often on my own. I wish it were otherwise but its not. I wish Iz were there or I was beside him. But it has not gone that way for us. so I am now accustomed once more to lying on trolley beds and in ambulances without a family member or a lover. Making decisions alone and handling my own affairs. Been that way for much of my recovery.
I am a little flat tonight. I would like Facebook to be working. Leave it be, Lynne. Leave it be. IN THIS mood, you can cause damage. DON’T DO THAT. Just potter around one more night. Read a book. Whatever. Do not fiddle with settings or anything else.
Do the evening differently from usual – much as you like “USUAL”.
AND DO NOT BECOME TOO WEARY.
Sometimes still, I know I have not decided what I want next. Sometimes, I don’t want to go on by myself. Trying to stand from a seated position or the toilet. Wishing I could call for the arm to help me up and lay my head on his chest in bed.
Sometimes, I don’t want to go on – organising Community Transport to hospitals and saying – NO, I WILL NOT BE COMING HOME TO ANYONE AFTER SURGERY.
Sometimes, collapsing into the next world looks a better idea. So – it means BED now. Do no thinking tonight. No fretting. Read and sleep. Read and sleep.
Elder’s Meditation of the Day – August 29
“The devastated earth, the air, water, the extinct species of mankind, animalkind, and plantkind, the drugs, suicides, family separations – these are all the result of false ceremonies.”
–Barney Bush, SHAWNEE
All life is a ceremony.
Every act is a ceremony creating a result in our lives.
Every ceremony we do always brings results to our lives.
If we do bad medicine to others, we do bad medicine to ourselves.
If we keep on doing bad ceremonies, we will eventually destroy ourselves.
Any time we live our lives out of harmony, we are doing bad ceremonies. Any time we treat anything with disrespect whether it is another human being or a plant or an animal, we are performing bad ceremonies.
These ceremonies not only have an effect on ourselves but will simultaneously affect everything. We need to use our power well, only do good ceremonies.
My Creator, teach me only good ceremonies. Teach me ceremonies that accomplish good for all the people. Good ceremonies cause good results. Teach me ceremonies that are helpful