DID NAMBUCCA AA.
BUT THE REST OF THE DAY WAS SLIGHTLY BELOW MY NEW AVERAGE.
You know why – because I am scared. Scared of Hospital and surgery even though its minor. Scared of being on my own and working it all out. I’m scared of coming home alone and I am deeply sad. DEEPLY.
I AM also slightly intimidated at the prospect of the next stage. I am quite a ways out of wherever I have been – sitting on the edge of the morass with some mud flats to cross but very unsure about which direction to take across the Flats and about what might be over there.
No matter. I have quite effective tools to hand now. Its just a wee freakout reminiscent of immediate post Trauma. Sleep on it. Adhere to the techniques which are working well and go ahead.
- DO NOT DECIDE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT THAT YOU ARE DYING.
- ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IS URGENT – NO MATTER HOW URGENT IT SEEMS.
- IF YOU MISS A MEETING – ITS OK. YOU WILL BE TAKEN CARE OF.
- IF YOU DON’T GET TO SURGERY THIS WEEK – ITS OK. JUST DO NOT ADD ANYTHING THAT WILL PUSH YOU INTO HYSTERIA AGAIN AND TWIST YOUR THINKING.
Simplicity is the truth of life.
And so – I am clean and sober. I am alive and in almost no physical pain. I have electric blanket on and a book to read. The Shack is cosy and I have the Internet.
Each Day a New Beginning
I used to think I’d never know the difference between serenity and depression because depression subdued me.
Depression is familiar to us all, and less incapacitating than it used to be. We have made progress – we can be assured. “This too shall pass” is not an empty slogan.
Each of us can recall, with ease probably, a period we thought we’d never survive. Maybe our problem was family-related, or a tough on-the-job situation. Or maybe we felt inadequate and lacking in strength to cope with all situations. But we managed. Here we are today, taking charge of our lives and moving forward in search of serenity.
Serenity no doubt eludes us, again and again, throughout the day. But we can let our minds rest. We can give our thoughts to the wind, and serenity will find us. Serenity’s peace nurtures us, strengthens us to withstand the turmoil ahead. There is always turmoil ahead. Life’s lessons are found there. The irony is that a life with no problems doesn’t offer the opportunities we must have if we are to grow.
I will let the serene moments wash over me. I will cherish them. They soften me. And the blows of today’s tumultuous storm will be lessened.