Well, my Girl bought me leopard skin slippers. Sweet Lord . And good green curries.
The plumber fixed the blocked sullage and I have booked a lass to weed and the cleaners are coming to asses later in the week.
Despite the prospect of lying once more like a slab of meat on a trolley , my esteem is slightly more in order again. The Esteem of Self. For some reason, amongst the blocked sewage pipes and filthy house and weedy garden and preparing to life on a trolley and be hurt again – LYNNE is arising. Goddamn it ! Oh Goddam it !
ITS late now. Nearing midnight. I so don’t want to do this – but I will. I want to live in the exquisite. The beautiful. I want the glorious and private.
There is beauty in fear and in tears and in the anguish of grief. I do not wish to be robbed of them.
I swear if I come through this – I shall be formidable. Totally formidable. Bedtime. No more food till tomorrow. Which don’t matter because I am not hungry. Lord – look after me.
Once I ate opium for several weeks. I became quite odd – but I loved the world of beauty it took me to – the passion and perfection. As Steve from Gordon said :
“I live the ordinary life in an extraordinary way. ”
And so – to all those who are intimidated – back off. Go elsewhere.
I love a beautiful life.
MY DINNER FROM KAYBEE AND THE HOSPITAL TYPE CLOTHES FOR THE MORROW.