I HAVE HAD a couple of quiet peaceful days and minimal pain. Fatigue but I did walk to the Providore and back and visited with the Girls and IMM. Its quiet down here in a garden flat. No passing parade but a deep peace is settling on me and I do like not having the horrible mess and tumbledown. I don’t have the TV yet and we are just settling in to the Internet but for once I have patience and panic has dropped away.
New routines will form here. No idea as to what they will be as yet. But – they will form.
Some of the things which were very difficult and consciously forming are now second nature. Walking and how much energy I can afford to expend. The move has, however, lifted the lid off other confusions and mistakes such as losing the keys – misplacing – as Kate says.
Ah well. Ah well. The Shack still needs clearing out. I shall think about that another day.
For tonight its quiet and clean with no internal steps. My SIL came to help me hook things up. I shopped at the local shop which is maybe 5 houses away. And I am now at peace.
Sandra and Drew today plus meeting. Sheer confusion and busyness at the moment. I thought I would be doing as I have often done before – farewelling – but seems to me the Farewelling has been taking place for months and I am into the Moving On.
Tonight I am laughing with Eden on Facetime and fossicking amongst piled up boxes. I have good people here – so I do.
3 meetings in 3 days. Girding my loins for the next stage.
Gold dawn disk edges purple cliffs. Old woman bends to sweep temple steps. She bathes each stone with loving care. How many worshipers think of her work.
Too tired for mostly anything – but tired in an old fashioned tired way instead of the post coma malady. Today, I was most unwell before waking but actually got up to a normal day – almost pre coma normal. Did the NA meeting and shopped with Kate and the Girls. Then she packed all day. Looks Like Cath will take the Shack which simplifies things. I am surrounded by boxes and mess . It was a beautiful day and I wandered though it unsure as to why I am moving at all.
Tomorrow, I am booked to see a counsellor. I am glad of that. Over in the Old Council Chambers. I HAVE been trying to find one for 2 years. The new house will put me within a few hundred metres of home.As well as the corner shop – the Providore.
SLEEP NOW. Tired in that healthy way.I have lived in so many different places. Next one coming up.
2 ladies in to give me a hand today. We did the kitchen – well they did. So we must have made progress. I feel a slight edge of insanity – just shimmering a little. Physically – OK. Mentally – OK. Emotionally – OK but shimmery. Elpee was in touch and telling me about the gardens and play areas. I have my concerns but I am proceeding nonetheless. Imagine if it were the haven she is offering. Just imagine that.
I am now sitting in the middle of the familiar packing mess and wondering about things.
do not let your mind out of today’s cage, lynne.
She tells me there is a play area for the Girls and she is bleaching the path. I am cautious as I always am.
The things which I am expecting to be improvements,
attending appointments most of which are in Bello.
visiting with family
getting food shopping
going out
variety of shops
keeping it clean
ease of outdoor maintenance
spare room for visitors
THE GIRLS’ NEW PLAYHOUSE
Journey To The Heart September 25 Discover Life’s Rhythm
Step into the natural rhythm for your life.
You don’t have to push through anymore. You don’t have to push yourself, life, or the energy flow.
If you get tired, take a break. Take a walk. Take in the healing energy of the world around you. Listen to the birds sing. Hear the laughter of a child. Feel the warm smile of a friend, or smile at a stranger passing by. If you get stuck or tangled up, stop trying force the solution. Back off, until the answer emerges naturally from that place of peace and natural instinct within you.
Step out of your tension, out of your fear. Laugh. Lighten up. Loosen up. Change your energy. Relax until you find the flow. Relax until you find your rhythm, until you feel life’s rhythm again.
I know you may look at someone you know in mourning and wonder when they’ll snap out of it.I understand because I use to think that way too.Okay, maybe at the time I was self-aware enough or guilty enough not to think it quite that explicitly, even in my own head. It might have come in the form of a growing impatience toward someone in mourning or a gradual dismissing of their sadness over time or maybe in my intentionally avoiding them as the days passed. It was subtle to be sure, but I can distinctly remember reaching the place where my compassion for grieving friends had reached its capacity—and it was long before they stopped hurting.
I know you may look at someone you know in mourning and wonder when they’ll snap out of it.I understand because I use to think that way too.Okay, maybe at the time I was self-aware enough or guilty enough not to think it quite that explicitly, even in my own head. It might have come in the form of a growing impatience toward someone in mourning or a gradual dismissing of their sadness over time or maybe in my intentionally avoiding them as the days passed. It was subtle to be sure, but I can distinctly remember reaching the place where my compassion for grieving friends had reached its capacity—and it was long before they stopped hurting.
THE SILVERBIRD 4 